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Model Them And Explode
This is my third podcast in a row where I’m referencing material that I saw or was part of from the Capitalism Conference that Ryan Moran put on in Dallas, Texas. This one’s interesting. I haven’t done something like this in maybe a few years. It was too painful of an event that I saw for me not to mention this, and I wish this was taught more often. It would save a lot of people a lot of heartaches. People’s companies could grow much faster if they understood this and practiced it. I’d rather just jump right in first. I would love for you to practice some of this or maybe even share this information to somebody else because you really don’t have something until you can teach it.
First and foremost, have you ever sat back and witnessed a conversation, maybe even an argument, specifically even somebody trying to sell somebody else something, an idea or a concept? Maybe you’re sitting in a board meeting and you know who’s right and who’s wrong, but you clearly see the person that’s right with the facts and the proper information has no chance of winning this conversation or this argument? I want to cover some fundamentals of why some people, no matter how much they are right, they’re just never going to win that conversation or a sale depending on who they’re talking to. Without getting the details of what I witnessed, I think I’m going to cover this topic and let everybody practice and see if they can spot some of these things.
If you want to win and sell somebody your idea, figure out who they are first. Click To Tweet
There are four types of personalities walking on planet Earth. There is the choleric. That is the person that is driven. They’re dominant. They will things to happen. They get things done. They pull people over. Some of their weaknesses, maybe they’re not so hot in relationships in the beginning, they upset people. They’re dominant. Then there’s the sanguine. They’re the life of the party. They’re people pleasers. They love to have fun. Everything is social. They don’t ever want to upset anybody. They want everybody to have a good time. Then there is the phlegmatic. You define these people as peace at all costs. They don’t ruffle any feathers, very uncomfortable in an elevator with strangers. They want to be left alone. They’re cool sitting in a crowd as long as they’re in the back and not talking to anybody. Then there’s the melancholy. This is the deep thinking, analytical accountant, engineering type where they take forever to make a decision but once they make a decision, it’s a strong decision.
I want to go through these again. Choleric, dominant, driven and wills things to happen. Sanguine, the life of the party and people pleaser. Phlegmatic, peace at all costs. Melancholy, deep thinker, an analytical accountant, engineering type. I want you to think of your best friend or your spouse, choleric, dominant wills, things to happen, yes or no? Phlegmatic, peace at all costs, yes or no? Sanguine, the life of the party, social butterfly, yes or no? Melancholy, deep thinking and analytical, yes or no? How about yourself? Choleric, dominant, wills things to happen? Are you sanguine, the life of the party? Are you phlegmatic, peace at all costs? Are you melancholy, analytical, deep thinking?
Why does this matter? It’s everything. In business, this is everything because if you’re a choleric and you’re going to walk up to a phlegmatic or a melancholy and you’re going to try to sell them something. You’re going to go great guns and you’re just going to rapid-fire talk, talk, talk, you have no chance. Especially if that’s your boss, your spouse or if it’s somebody you’re supposed to be under or respecting, you’re going to start 0 for 3. You may over time just wear them down. They may cave in. The reality is a choleric who knows the game of business and a choleric who knows the game of selling knows that all they have to do is model the other person. I’m a choleric-sanguine, 50/50 someday, someday 75/25. Either way actually. The reality is I’ve been conditioned over three decades that if I ever sit down in front of a phlegmatic-melancholy, which is more often than not because the majority of people walking are phlegmatic-melancholies, I slow my voice. I lower my voice. I model their posture. I put the same amount of pauses in my sentences that they use. I put the same length of pauses in my sentences as they use.
What happens when you model behavior, tone and temperament, automatically their respect for you goes up. If you come across as who you are and it doesn’t matter if it’s the opposite. Let’s say you’re a phlegmatic or you’re a melancholy, but your boss is a choleric. If you walk up to your boss and he or she is a true choleric, meaning they’ve got a list of twenty things to do, they’re knocking things off the list left and right. Literally while you’re talking to them, they’re looking at their phone, checking their to-do list, and you’re going to try to come in with your slow temperament, your low voice, your punch list of five things to say and your well-thought-out presentation, you are dead before you begin.
If you model their behavior and you tighten your bullets instead of five bullets to two, you lead with the end in mind with the goal or the main point first so they don’t have to say in their head, “Would you just get to it? What’s the point? Why are you here? What’s the goal?” If you’re a phlegmatic-melancholy and you’re approaching a choleric and a sanguine wants the same thing. They want fun so get to the point. “Let’s just have fun, so what’s the point?” If you think of it this way, it’s really two camps. There’s the choleric-sanguine. They want you to get to the point and they lead with the point. Then there are the phlegmatic-melancholies. They want the story told, they want the evidence exposed, and they want the data front and center, then they’ll get to the point.
If you want to win and you want to sell somebody your idea, why don’t you try to figure out who are they first? How do they think? How are they wired? Then why don’t you present them the cookie the way they want the cookie? Maybe they want you to lead with the finished product first? That’s their cookie. I’m a phlegmatic. I’m a melancholy. Let’s pretend that Steve, my boss, is a choleric. I’m going to walk into Steve, “Steve, I’ve got a great idea that’s going to get us three times more earnings in the next 30 days. Would you like to hear the details?” This guy’s going to salivate, “Yes, three times earnings. Give me the data.” Now, you’ve played Steve’s game and he wants the data.
If you’re a choleric and your boss is phlegmatic-melancholy, you don’t want to lead with that. You want to go in with the data first. You want to say, “Robert, I stumbled on some incredible data. I’ve got this, this and this point thoroughly vetted. By the way, it leads us to three times earnings, would you like to hear it?” You’ve got him salivating. Here’s the key. Number one, do you know who you are and do you know who you are talking to? Are you willing to model their personality, their temperament, their tone and their behavior? If you can and if you will, you will win. I hope this helps. Take care.